Know the facts

Kids have a lot of questions. Make sure you’re prepared to answer them—especially those that relate to keeping their developing brains free from the harms of alcohol. Talk to them about their hopes and dreams and how their healthy brain will support them in a successful future. Use age-appropriate language and ask questions to make sure kids understand. Use the Learn More link to get all the information you need.

Start early

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends talking to kids about underage drinking as early as age 9.¹ Research shows kids are making up their minds about alcohol between the ages of 9 to 13 and those perceptions can become more favorable as they mature. And if they view it as pleasurable, they’re much more likely to drink underage.² If your child is older, it’s never too late to start the discussion.

Have small chats

Having little talks together, over time, takes the pressure off of trying to get all the information out at once. Your kids will also be less likely to tune you out. Use everyday situations, such as meals, driving in the car and doing activities together, to start ongoing conversations about underage drinking. Keep it casual and informal. The more it becomes a regular topic, the more natural it will be, for both of you.

Ask questions and role play

Ask open-ended questions, rather than tell. A two-sided conversation allows you to get your point across, while empowering your children to be part of the solution.

Then, after your child shares their answers to your questions, try role playing through potential solutions. For some examples of open-ended questions, download the PDF.

Be clear

Even the slightest amount of perceived parental acceptability can lead to substance use. A Utah study shows when kids believe their parents feel underage drinking is “very wrong,” only 3% actually drink. But if kids believe their parents feel it’s just “wrong” or “a little wrong,” almost half choose to drink. ³ Make your expectations about not drinking alcohol before age 21 clear.

In it together and committed

Ensure that you and your spouse or partner are on the same page about your rules. When parents agree, kids stay alcohol-free. Brainstorm and practice refusal skills with your child. Reinforce that the best way to prevent underage drinking is to avoid places where alcohol is present. Ask your child for a personal commitment to live by the rules and continue to discuss them regularly. To learn more, visit SAMHSA’s Talk. They Hear You.